Therapist's Thoughts. What went well.

Last week I shared the gratitude exercise.  I have been reflecting much and plan to begin this letter on the plane that Cricket and I will be on later tomorrow.  I loved your comments and would love to hear further if you feel like sharing.  This week it is the What-Went-Well Exercise - also called three blessings by Martin Seligman again from the book Flourish.  Yes there are times we need to analyze bad events so that we can learn from them.  "However, he states, people tend to spend more time thinking about what is bad in life than is helpful.  This focus on negative events sets us up for anxiety and depression.  One way to keep this from happening is to get better at thinking about and savoring what went well.  He suggests every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep.  Write down three things that went well today and why they went well.  You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote.  The three things need not be earthshaking in importance.  Next to each positive event, answer the question "Why did this happen?  Writing about why the positive events in your life happened may seem awkward at first, but stick with it for one week.  It will get easier.  He indicates we will be happier and addicted to this exercise six months from now."

I find this a fun activity to do.  Here's my attempt for today:

Nice relaxing hour break.  Cricket and I had an appointment that due to transportation 'fun' we were in the area an hour early.  We enjoyed walking along Main Street and stopping in a few fun shops.  We went into a running store and have just the right size pouch for the marathon run on Saturday.  We also stopped at Einstein Bagels and had a yummy pumpkin muffin.  I felt Cricket weaving around and stopped and turned around and clicked my phone and appreciated her good work through construction.  Why did this happen?  I decided rather than just sit and be early for my appointment, I would enjoy the time of being early to have an adventure.  


We enjoyed a great juicer with kale, grapes, peaches, yogurt, ... not sure what else was in there :).  Why did this happen?  Awesome husband.

Cricket and I are flying out in the morning to go to San Rafael, California for a couple days.  We have our work caught up and almost ready to go.  We are so grateful that this trip coincides with the days that we have  rest days for our marathon on Saturday.  Why did this happen?  Some busy, hard working days to get ready.  

I feel like I could go on .. blessing of getting to stop in and visit our daughter.  So fun to have them live close by.  Blessing of going to a job that I love.  Blessing of running with my friends this morning.  Blessing of getting to talk to a friend on the phone.  

I would love to hear 'what went well' for you today :)!  

Therapist's Thoughts. Will you join me in Gratitude?

I have many passions in my profession - one of which is Positive Psychology (Martin Seligman).   Creating a group around these activities is one of my goals.   I am inviting you to follow me on a journey of some suggestions he offers that can change lives and create a greater sense of well-being.  I would love to hear what your experience is like as you try these exercises!  (Flourish, Martin Seligman, p. 361)

"1.  The Gratitude Visit.  Close your eyes.  Call up the face of someone still alive who years ago did something or said something that changed your life for the better.  Someone who you never properly thanked; someone you could meet face-to-face next week.  Got a face?  Gratitude can make your life happier and more satisfying.  When we feel gratitude, we benefit from the pleasant memory of a positive event in our life ... in this exercise called the "Gratitude Visit"  you will have the opportunity to experience what it is like to express your gratitude in a thoughtful, purposeful manner.  Your task is to write a letter of gratitude to this individual and deliver it in person.  The letter should be concrete and about three hundred words: be specific about what she did for you and how it affected your life.  Let her know what your are doing now, and mention how you often remember what she did.  Make it sing!  Once you have written, call the person and tell her you'd like to visit her, but be vague about the purpose of this meeting; this exercise is much more fun when it is a surprise.  When you meet her, take your time reading your letter. After you have read the letter, discuss the content and your feelings for each other.  You will be happier and less depressed one month from now."

After some reflection, I have begun my letter :)!  I look forward to sharing mine and would love to hear about your experience!