My little red tether is my anchor in running with my friends. A beautiful guide dog has been my tether/anchor in mobility and independence for 17 years: 1. Pantera 2. Cricket, and now my beautiful 3. Georgina (Georgie). A life of family and friends is my joy and anchor in life.

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. CC Scott

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Insidious?

I returned to the retina doctor today - felt it might be time to take care of my cataracts (added sensitivity to the light), possible macula edema that could be taken care of with another fun shot (sore eyes and double vision). As I sat there waiting with butterflies in my stomach, I wondered why after 26 years of going to the opthalmologist, I still find this a little nervewracking. I love visiting my friends and former colleagues at the Moran Eye Center ... I worked there for 7 years it is a great place but something about being 'the patient' is not so fun! Dr. B did the full exam ... I guessed on the letters on the eye chart and confirmed I couldn't read as well as the time before, I took the visual field test and was excited when I did get to beep a few times when I saw the light smack in the center (funny note - the first time it clicked - Cricket sat up ... I think she thought it might be a clicker and hope of a treat). In the end, Dr. B and I decided that it was not time to do cataract sx nor time to do anything further about the edema ... he told me: Well Becky, you've got RP - it is an insidious disease. He asked me if I was leading a healthy lifestyle and taking care of myself. Yes, I said so Doctors orders to keep on doing yoga, cycling, healthy work/play/sleep balance. How is your leafy green intake? (Dang, if he had of not included leafy could of answered much better ... green m and m's, green jelly beans, green skittles) Uh, working on that one doctor. What does insidious mean to you? (I did the worst on the vocabulary part on the GRE - one of the therapists in our office told me her mom required them to learn five new words each week during the summer! She said insidious is persistent and unrelenting. Okay, Retinitis Pigmentosa you are that -- but also I can be persistent and unrelenting in not letting you get the best of me! I do have to say somehow Dr. B telling me that - felt validating - yeah, sometimes it is draining - its unpredictable, unrelenting, but full of lessons learned and challenges met. Insidious is described as treacherous (well yeah, RP can be without the helpful tools) harm in stealthy gradual manner (so true, subtle signs of its gradual decline - I totally didn't recognize a friend the other day), Wikkipedia also describes hansel and gretel and the witch's insidious gingerbread house -- can someone explain that one to me?

7 comments:

Dan and Suzy said...

"Posing a great threat to one'ssense of well being" is my best guess.
Nice post.
Loe, Susan and Mirage
(relentlessly yours)

Cabana's Puppy Raiser said...

Hmmm, I'd say the gingerbread house is insidious because it looks harmless but isn't. You have the best attitude about your RP, though, insidious though it may be!

Lacey said...

I made an appoointment with Dr. B finally. I'll be the one doing exactly as you did yesterday soon. As much as I don't want my sight to be worse, I hope that I don't have to get the shot in the eye again, but I'm afraid it will be the verdict. Lucky me! But I guess like you said we have to be unrelenting and persistent ourselves. And that's what I'm going to be too!

Natalie said...

You are so awesome. You inspire me.

3 labs 4 me said...

Yes you do eat green leafy veggies. What about all those salads that you order every time we have lunch together. Doesn't that count for something?

risingup1moretimeandmakinglifecount said...

Courage - seems to be there when needed most.
Following!
Always will. I'm seriously glad you didn't have any bad news.
Hearts with you. Always.

Becky said...

Susan - yes, like your description.

Cabana's mom - like that hadn't thought of it that way.

Lacey - cheering you on!
Thanks, Natalie and Kelly.
Debi - that is true - I eat lots of salads - usually pick out all the yummy toppings and leave the spinach though!