Sometimes in a marital therapy session couples will say resigned- well, we should know its going to be this way, we've been married 15 years ... we are going to lose the spark. To which I say -- NO! It can be wonderful and continue to grow! There are many gratifying experiences about my work - a couple finding that happiness in their relationship once again is definitely one of them. This excerpt from the book, Chicken Soup for the Couples Soul, may be a little sappy but love it and is how I feel about Steve. "You are a lover when you appreciate the gift that your partner is, and celebrate that gift every day ... wake up each morning filled with gratitude that you have another day in which to love and enjoy your partner. When you have a lover in your life, you are richly blessed. You have been given the gift of another person to walk beside you. He will share your days and nights, your joys and your burdens... Your lover offers you an abundance of miracles every day. He has the power to delight you with his smile ... your doorway to heaven here on earth."
Sometimes people think because I have a disability that Steve is like my caregiver. We laugh when someone says something to him like - how is it taking care of your blind wife? He has some great witty responses that are funny because that is not our relationship at all. It is a partnership that I treasure and love.
Any tips on what you do to keep your relationship alive?
The journeys of Becky, blind from retinitis pigmentosa, and her beauitiful guide dogs.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
My Love
Steve's been gone three whole days! I am SO happy he is back home! While he was away, we (Cricket, Missy and I) had some visits with friends, some quiet time, some work duties completed that I had been putting off, time to read our book on our new Victor Reader, some yoga classes, and even some cleaning that feels good. We also had lots of phone calls from sweet friends and family checking in on us. Thank you!
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7 comments:
We have occasional "date nights" where we go do something special or out of our normal routine. Tom is a fireman. I was in the station one night cooking dinner for the guys and we were discussing where we planned to go on date night. One of the young recruits screwed up his face and remarked, "Date Night? You guys have been married forever? Married people don't date (each other)!" My dear husband responded with words of wisdom. "You do if you want to stay married!"
Mary - love it! So true - excellent quote.
I have no tips...I am not very good at it. :) When we are together, Scott and I are always doing something...usually trying to beat each other at some sporting event.
I love the quote you referred to. I have the book. When I think about the partnership I desire to have, I think about that passage.
B and I are not married in the legal sense, but we both feel as though we are. We've had a lot of hardship in our nearly 3 years together, and I have to admit, we've lost some of that spark. Physically there is no spark due to something on his part he is as yet unwilling to address. At times I think it will be enough to drive me away...
But then I'm reminded how much he loves me. Not because he necessarily does something incredibly special, but because he'll grab me a can of Pringles. Yes, Pringles. He knows I love them and I used to be terribly addicted haha! So I don't keep them around anymore. But every so often he'll surprise me with a can. My friend and I call it Pringles love. Or, he still insists on preparing my coffee in the evenings. When I first went blind, it was really hard for me to do it, so he did. That way I could just hit the button in the mornings. I've since told him I can do it now, but he insists that he's worked it into his nightly routine. He is always willing to stop and get whatever I might need, be it coffee or popcorn. It's that kind of love, the Pringles love, that I won't give up on yet, even with this glaring problem in our relationship. I have faith that that particular spark will come back, some day. I hope.
aw, that's so sweet!
Ro - Pringle love, sweet. Hoping for the best for you both.
Father Lappi told me "Marriage is your vocation", after I retired from a career as a dental hygienist. Becoming blind while Dan went off to work each day was 'hard'.
I took those words to heart, pouring out my love and energy to support him. Being joyful to awake and care for him, Planning meals, gardening, all the things that made his life one of ease. It's good to see how much my caring for him has helped grow our love.
I could have dwelt on my loss :-)
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